that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
