I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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