i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
