omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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