I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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