I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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