So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
