I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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