I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
