I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
