He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
