I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
