2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
