i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
