Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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