her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
two words: eviction party
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
