He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I am spending my child support on dildos
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
