she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
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