I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
