He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
