I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just want nice things and good sex
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Randomize
