yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
