we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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