I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
