id be glad to
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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