I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm bleeding and have questions
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
