you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
