I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
