We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
