why didn't you poke me back
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
