You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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