Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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