She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
