she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
