i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
