She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
