but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
