You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
