grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
