You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
