operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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