I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Let's paint friendship bongs
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
