two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
