"it" just moved
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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