Your face is a jimmy john
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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