So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
