Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
