piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
