party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
