Dual....:-)
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
