do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
