So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
areolas are like halos for boobs.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
