brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
