so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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